What does the Bible say about dating a non-believer?
The Bible doesn't mention dating, but it warns believers not to be unequally yoked and says Christians should marry "in the Lord." Since dating usually leads toward marriage, many Christians apply this to dating too. Scripture also cares about the non-believer, so the aim is wisdom and honesty, not judgment.
By RenewedSpirit team · Published · Updated
What does unequally yoked mean?
A yoke joined two animals to pull together. If they pull in different directions, both struggle. Paul uses that picture for close partnerships.
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?"
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Paul is speaking broadly about close partnerships, and Christians have long applied it most directly to marriage.
"A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, as long as he belongs to the Lord."
A widow may marry whom she wishes, but only in the Lord. This is the clearest New Testament instruction about who a believer marries.
Is it wrong to date someone who isn't a Christian?
Scripture speaks to marriage directly, and Christians differ on how strictly to apply it to dating. Most agree that if dating is heading toward marriage, the same wisdom applies, because hearts get attached before decisions get made.
"Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow springs of life."
Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Who you give your heart to shapes where your life goes.
"Can two walk together without agreeing where to go?"
Can two walk together unless they agree? Shared direction matters in any close relationship.
What if I'm already dating a non-believer?
Be honest with God, yourself and the person. Ask whether faith is central to how you want to build a life, and talk openly about it. Ask a mature Christian friend for counsel. Treat the other person with respect; Scripture never calls for looking down on them.
"But in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give a defense to everyone who asks you the reason for the hope that is in you. But respond with gentleness and respect,"
Be ready to explain your hope, with gentleness and respect. However you decide, kindness matters.
Frequently asked questions
Does the Bible forbid dating a non-believer?
The Bible doesn't mention dating. It does say believers should marry in the Lord, and many Christians apply that to dating since it leads toward marriage.
What if they might become a Christian?
Hoping someone will change is risky ground for a relationship. Pray for them and be a friend, but don't build a future on an assumption.
Is it wrong to be friends with non-believers?
No. Jesus was known as a friend of sinners. Unequally yoked is about binding partnerships, not friendship or kindness.
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Scripture and sources
2 Corinthians 6:14; 1 Corinthians 7:39; Proverbs 4:23; Amos 3:3; 1 Peter 3:15. Berean Standard Bible (BSB), public domain.
Reviewed by the RenewedSpirit team · Editorial standards